Since
I'd just given a talk at the Whole Earth Expo, I wasn't surprised when
The Lifestyles Organization called and asked me to be their keynote
speaker. I assumed it was yet another health food group and that they
too would like to hear all about the latest research involving Life
Extension. Not so. It seems this was to be the world's largest gathering
of Swingers and they wanted something a little sexier. Eventually, I
found myself in front of a few thousand couples at a Vegas resort
explaining the ins and outs of: "Ten Perversions in 30 Minutes." This
turned out to be such a fun convention that I decided to work with the
group on all their subsequent events and thus began a long and rewarding
relationship.
So you can imagine my surprise when radio talk-host
Dr. Dean Edell, whom I knew didn't travel in such circles, mentioned
Swingers. His program was just before mine so, as an admitted
hypochondriac, I'd always tune-in on my way to the studio figuring that
if I don't already have any of the diseases he was discussing that
day...it was only a matter of time. But what could the good Doctor
possibly know about the Lifestyle? It seemed that he'd just read an
article published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
The piece began with a definition of Swingers as "married couples who
exchange partners solely for sexual purposes" and then went on to
review what the medical literature had to say about this group. The
notion going in, of course, was that this one bit of behavior (swapping
mates) was so bizarre as to almost guarantee that it would color every
other aspect of their lives. The study concluded, however, that this was
not the case. Significant differences between Swingers and their
straight neighbors were simply not to be found. Compared to the
population at large, about the only thing the researchers could find was
that Swingers tended to be more from the upper middle class and tended
to be more from the Conservative end of the political spectrum.
Neither
the social class nor the social views would come as any great shock to
those familiar with the group. Indeed, the higher educational and income
levels along with a staunch support of upper middle class values are
almost a given at Lifestyle events. The few areas where Swingers do
differ from their more monogamous peers all involve - as you might
suspect -
sex. Swingers are typically more liberal when it comes to premarital relations,
divorce, homosexuality, abortion and
pornography;
areas where, presumably, Swingers have had more experience than
non-Swingers. And speaking of non-Swingers, the article went on to say
that they were convinced "wife swappers" had to be heavy drinkers and
users of heavy
drugs.
Again, anyone familiar with the group knows that alcoholic consumption
is typically far below that found at most country club soirees and the
NO DRUGS admonition at most Swing parties is something of a mantra. They
would also know that the term "wife swappers" is never used because,
in, fact, you might just as well call them "husband swappers." Dr. Edell
concluded with: "The article dashes a
stereotype that we may have about this particular group we think we know."
So
here's an honest, open-minded guy presenting the facts and avoiding
even a hint of prejudicial condemnation. That said; imagine my dismay
when I later visited Multiple Sexual Partners on the Internet. I was
shocked! The site was devoted to dozens of headings which include:
cervicitis; cervical erosion and genital warts; gonorrhea; pubic lice;
syphilis and urethritis. In short, everything that might possibly go
wrong - gone wrong. Is there no up side to sex...no joy, no
beauty, no healing? What could Mother
Nature have been thinking when she attached so many nerves to our sex organs, filled our blood streams with sex
hormones
and devoted vast tracks of our brains to thoughts of sex? Must we be
doomed to a choice of either denying the mental anguish of abstention or
suffering the physical deterioration of decadence? Boy! She sure
screwed us!
Or did she? Actually, we live in a time and place
where, in so far as sex is concerned - Accentuate the Negative has
become the Golden Rule. There is nothing, the conventional
wisdom
goes, so dangerous to your home and family, your town and country, your
health and well-being as S-E-X. Is it any wonder that 31% of males and
43% of females now suffer one or more symptoms of sexual dysfunction?
So
who is responsible for this appalling perversion you ask? The answer is
really quite simple. The most obvious sign of neurosis is an
overpowering need to control. The neurotic feels adrift amidst
conflicting emotions and irrational beliefs. The only option is to hang
on for dear life. Get a grip on yourself and as many of those around you
as you possibly can. And that, dear reader, is the motivating force
behind those who would censure and condemn all that they themselves
can't handle.
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